I didn’t arrive at this work because dating was easy for me.
I arrived here because I was willing to make honest, sometimes painful choices in service of my peace — even when it meant letting go of people, identities, and paths that no longer aligned.
Like many people over 40, I’m thoughtful, self-aware and deeply relationship-oriented. I value emotional depth, warmth, and mutual respect. For a long time, I believed that if I communicated well, stayed generous, and tried to understand others more deeply, love would naturally meet me there.
Sometimes it did.
And sometimes, despite effort and care, it didn’t.
What eventually became clear to me is that effort alone doesn’t create emotional safety or mutuality. Love deepens when I am rooted in myself — able to stay present, discerning, and self-trusting even when things feel uncertain or disappointing.
That realization reshaped not just how I dated — but how I live.
After studying for many years for myself, I got committed to helping other people find their person and showing them an easier way.
Choosing alignment over familiarity
Over the past several years, I’ve made a series of defining decisions that asked me to choose alignment over comfort.
I stepped away from long-standing professional roles that looked stable from the outside but no longer matched my values. I let go of relationships and dynamics I had worked hard to repair — not because I didn’t care, but because caring no longer meant self-sacrifice. I allowed endings to be endings, even when they felt like quiet grief.
I left a chapter of my life that had been familiar and moved to a new city, starting over in ways that required trust, patience, and resilience. I navigated career transitions, uncertainty, and caregiving responsibilities that stretched me emotionally, mentally, physically and spiritually.
Each of these choices came with heartache. And each one brought me closer to myself.
What I gained was something I had never experienced so consistently before: peace of mind. Not the absence of feeling — but the presence of inner sovereignty.
From anxious effort to embodied secure energy.
Earlier in my life, I would have described myself as emotionally aware but often activated. I cared deeply, sometimes too much. I tried hard. I sometimes over-functioned, over-explained, or stayed too long in dynamics that required me to handle the emotional space.
Through study, reflection, and lived experience, I came to understand how attachment patterns and nervous-system responses were quietly shaping my dating life and relationships — not as flaws, but as information.
I learned how attraction shifts in a healthy way when I’m regulated.
I learned how clarity emerges when I stop chasing reassurance.
I learned how often “being understanding” can mask self-abandonment.
Most importantly, I learned how to stay anchored in myself — even when someone pulled back, misunderstood me, or couldn’t meet me with the same emotional capacity.
That inner shift didn’t make me harder.
It made me calmer, clearer, and more discerning.
Dating stopped feeling like something I needed to solve.
It became a place where I could observe, feel, and choose — without losing my center.
Why Loveablize exists
Loveablize was created from lived experience — not theory.
I’ve been a Dating & Love Life coach for over 15 years, and built Loveablize for professional singles over 40 who have emotional intelligence, yet still feel frustrated or disappointed with modern dating.
Singles over 40 who are self aware but don’t want to keep working harder at love.
Singles who want connection that feels consistent respectful, and alive — without self-betrayal, over-functioning, or emotional exhaustion.
Loveablize isn’t about tips, tricks, or strategies.
It’s a return to:
From this place, love stops feeling confusing or destabilizing and starts feeling mutual, grounded, emotionally mature—and capable of growing into a deeply fulfilling relationship.
